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How You Treat Your Sofa

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 10:21:34 +0100

An old Indian saying states that how a person treats their sofa, the same way they treat themselves. I used to think this was pure bullshit, you know? The first time someone told me that, I thought they were bullshitting me and so I laughed and ignored them. But the last couple of days showed that this saying, Indian or not, was absolutely true. The better I treat my sofa, the better I treat myself, I notice.

For example, when I get drunk, I don’t treat my sofa very well, but I also don’t treat myself very well. I eat a lot of junk food; drink even more alcohol, which is making me sick in the morning; and end up throwing up on the carpet or the sofa, itself. So, in an essence, how you treat your sofa does reflect how you treat yourself.

Last time I got drunk at home, I threw up on the sofa. The next day, I felt so terrible, I can’t even describe it. And the smell of vomit throughout the whole apartment didn’t help, either. In the end, I had to call a cleaning company to deal with this due to my inability. I called Cleanster and luckily, they took care of the problem soon enough. I had to pay for that, and to buy myself medicine because I got sick. Overall, what happened to the sofa, happened to me, too. That was quite unfortunate but it showed me the significance of this wisdom. The way treat things other than yourself show who you really are.

This goes double for people. A person who is nice to you but not the waiter in the restaurant you’re eating in is not a nice person. Good people are generally good. They have their bad days, of course, just like everybody else, but they are positive through the rest of the time. They are good and treat everybody rather well – from the store clerk to the stranger on the bus. Bad people are bad in general. They don’t have a bad day, they are just assholes who only care about numero uno – themselves. With some people the problem is neurological but for most – it’s their upbringing; also the media constantly telling you that you should compete with others, society telling you it’s so important to be successful, and generally the whole notion of opportunity, money and success.

But sometimes people treat their things much better than they treat people, which means they are not good people. Although the point is still valid – these people tend to treat themselves rather well, as well. It’s all subjective and a matter of perspective.

Yet Another Cleaning Peripetia

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 14:08:46 +0100

The last few months were quite nightmarish and to be honest with you I have a pretty good idea why. I have been a bit doubtful and much distressed because of what is going on and by the laws of attraction – negative emotions attract more of the same (unlike in physics). So by that logic, the fact that I have been experiencing an excess of negative emotions means that this attracts more negative emotions. It’s a perpetual whirlpool of negativity and despair. The situation is the same with money, when you think about it – the more you have, the more you make. That’s one of the core principles of capitalism, alongside consumerism.

But anyway, I’m not here to talk about that, not at all. I want to share the fact that there was yet another reason form e to hire professional cleaning help. I’m starting to see tendency and I’m not sure how exactly I feel about that. There is zero reason for me share this with you because you probably couldn’t care less about what I have to say about cleaning or how I had to hire a cleaning company to clean my home, but I will tell you about it anyway, because it is my understanding that when a person has an opinion or a story they want to share, they are absolutely free to do so on the Internet, even if nobody will care.

As a I said I was feeling sort of blue because of reasons and I really wasn’t in the mood for cleaning my flat yesterday, so I decided to call a cleaning company to deal with it for me. It is a god-awful experience to feel so down that you couldn’t accomplish even the most basic of tasks but in the end there is nothing more to do than just accept that fact and ask for help (or in my case – hire it). It wasn’t that big a deal, really. I just did a quick web search and clicked the first link (http://www.domesticcleaning.co.uk/domestic-cleaning-kensington-w8/) I saw. It opened the site of Maids of London, so I went ahead and booked their services. There was a confirmation call, after which I started patiently waiting for those people to show up.

I was surprised that they sent only one cleaner, but after a while I understood why – she was a one-woman army. She cleaned my flat so quickly, I barely realised when it was over. It was interesting to behold – somebody doing something so ordinary in such an extraordinary and professional manner. Anyway, the bottom line is that my flat was cleaned and I seized living like a swine. Hooray for me!

Why a Cleaning Company had to Clean Our Office in Kensington

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 11:19:52 +0100

The office environment is usually an official one (unless you work for Google, but most companies are not Google). However, sometimes when the emotions escalate (negative or positive ones, it doesn’t matter), not only does the office become more unofficial, but even there may be some damage caused to it (even if it’s just an aesthetic sort of damage). To make the picture even more colourful, sometimes the reason the emotions escalate is alcohol which means that once an uncontrollable bursts occurs, there is no turning back for at least ten minutes, which is time enough to destroy half the office and require for the boss to hire a cleaning company to deal with the cleaning component of the aftermath. I know that at the moment things look confusing, but by the time you’re finished reading this post, everything will be clear and you will see the tragic and the comic sides of the matter.

Let me start from the beginning – the morning. One of the colleagues called in sick. It was supposed to be a normal and boring day at the office, with a few of absent due to sickness. Although the temperature in the office was quite high, the outside didn’t offer such pleasant conditions – it was cold, dark and somewhat lonely. Kensington had never looked so dead. It was like one of the scenes in zombie films in the beginning, when everything is dark and quiet – even too quiet, and then the zombies suddenly appear and panic starts spreading like fire sales in the end of each season. No zombies appeared, however, but the atmosphere was really the calm before the storms.

In the early afternoon, as we were working normally one of the colleagues (the one who called in sick in the morning) suddenly appeared in the office, drunk as an Irishman on St Patrick’s day, with a bottle of Scotch in his hand. He was barely standing and the incoherent sounds coming out of his mouth gave us the illusion that he wanted to convey some sort of a message. Soon, everything became clear – he was mad at a co-worker for some reason and after shouting for a few minutes and disturbing the workflow in the whole office, right before the security came, he attacked the subject of his drunken hatred. It was a disturbing sight – they started rolling around, making a mess of the place and breaking a monitor and a printer.

The boss had seen what was happening and had already called the police, while the rest of us frozen into position by the amount of ridiculousness in the situation. Soon, the coppers came, the drunken attacker was fired and had to pay for the damage, but our other colleague decided not to press charges. The whole situation was about a woman and he didn’t want to ruin the other guy’s life. Although he was already in enough trouble as it was.

A cleaning company was called to clean the mess. Cleaning Experts was the name of the company (this is their site – http://www.cleaningexperts.co.uk) and they dispatched a unit as soon as possible. No work was done until the end of the day. The boss let us go home and relax. It was a somewhat traumatic experience for some but personally I found it funny how some people can ruin their lives for nothing. Idiots!

Carpet Cleaning Problem in Kensington

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 15:49:04 +0100

Carpet cleaning can sometimes be problematic, especially when you’re trying to get blue ink out of a light carpet. I guess that in order to make things clearer, I’ll have to start the story from the beginning.

Since I like writing, a friend got an inkstand for my birthday as a “lucky charm” against writer’s block. A few months later (yesterday) I tripped and accidently spilled the ink on my light carpet. You can imagine the horror I felt. I tried to clean it but my efforts were absolutely futile – I only made things worse. I started looking for a solution online (I didn’t want to change the carpet) but I found nothing I could do, except for hiring professionals. After doing a little research, I realised that paying professional cleaners to clean my carpet would be much cheaper than buying a new one. I like what I saw on the site of Captain Clean – the name sounded catchy, the prices were good and I decided to give them a shot. I booked their carpet cleaning services online and waited for a call. When the girl called me, we specified the when and where and she said the cleaners could be in my home in a few hours.

While I was waiting, I kept myself busy. I tidied up a bit, got everything ready for the arrival of the cleaners - moved the desk, the furniture, etc. Everything was ready when they rung on my door. I let them in and let them do their job. They told the stain looked bad but they would do everything in their power to make it alright again. It was interesting watching them work but I didn’t want to disturb them so I went to the other room – there was stuff I had to do there, too.

I don’t know how much time had passed but when I went to check on them, they were just finishing and said they had good news – the stain got off and I didn’t need to change the carpet. That was good news, indeed.

I paid them and they were on their way. It was totally worth it – my carpet looked as good as new. They had done an awesome job. Next time I should be a little more careful not to end up such situations – I was scared half to death that the stain couldn’t be removed. “What’s the big deal?” – You’d probably ask. First of all, it’s a pretty nice carpet and second – it’s pretty expensive so paying professional cleaners to remove the stain was but a fragment of its price. Also, it’s in perfect sync with the rest of the room.

Motivation Restoration

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 15:15:55 +0100

Motivation is a really interesting phenomenon. It is the basis for any sort of activity – creative or otherwise. It is the difference between a productive employee and one who is barely working. Motivation is really fragile – it can be broken in the blink of an eye but luckily, it can also easily be restored (or at least a part of it) in the matter of minutes. It was boils down to how well you understand people.

Frequently, if you show people some understanding and pay some attention to them as human beings, even if they are your employees then you may see that their productivity levels will rise. It’s not really all about money, it’s also about attitude, treatment and approach. Generally, the more freedom you give your employees, the more productive they will be. Of course, not everybody is cut out for this sort of responsibility. Some people, when given more autonomy will perform poorer due to inability to manage their time. Others will show a huge increase in the productivity. The fact that you have given them freedom is enough that they would want to return the favour with some fine work. They will spend more time reviewing their own work, making sure everything is well-done not because they are afraid of punishment, but because deep inside they really want to show the appreciation toward the fact that you have trusted them.

Sadly, trust isn’t something too common these days. Even if you do your best to earn it, most of the time you fail. For example, I’ve worked on my current position for a few months now and, as far as I know, I haven’t given my boss any reason to doubt – I always try to do everything by the book, just the way I’m asked to do it; I try doing everything on time; I try doing it well; I try being a good employee, overall. Yet, my boss still doesn’t trust me. I don’t like this feeling but there is nothing really I can do – I’ve done everything I could already. I guess that the only thing left is giving it some more time. At least he always gives me time off if I need it (which is an added bonus). Anyway, my main point is that people today don’t trust other people so giving employees more freedom isn’t something many would risk doing, even though those who have shown great success. Sometimes the fact that somebody trusts you enough not to keep in you one place is enough to motivate to work harder and have a better performance. In the end, I guess it’s really about management and responsibility and letting people use their potential.

Jimmy’s Games

Thu, 22 Nov 2012 12:29:48 +0100

The time comes in every man’s life when he has to grow up. In that moment, after he’s been dragged through all the Nine Circles of Hell, he has to get up, look at the Devil and say: “Is that you’ve got, you miserable twat?” He has to grow balls of steel. That’s when he can tackle any challenge.

That moment in Jimmy Irons’ life came when he was trying to complete “Mario, the Lost Levels” on speed run, without dying. He had trained for months and that was the moment of truth. He would either succeed and be proud or fail and be miserable until the next try.

Jimmy was an oldschool gamer. He understood games well, both the new one and the old ones. He understood their character. The old games were like the hardened father who wants you to man up. He wants you to prove your worth if you’re to be called his son. He wouldn’t be there to hold your hand every step of the way. He would help you understand that you’re on your own until the very end. You would hate him for it. He would punish every failure, and not really appreciate small successes. But he will teach you how to fight and never give up; how to get up every time you fall. He would really care about your future and what becomes of you. And in the end, when you’ve managed to complete his challenges, he would finally show his love, in his own way. You’d be grateful, understand why he did all that he did. You’d be proud.

New games, on the other hand were like the careless step-father who tries to buy your love. “Oh, this game is too hard for you? Here’s an achievement so you don’t feel like a total loser.” He would help you every step of the way, not teaching anything and most of all – how to deal with things on your own. You’d become a spoiled brat looking only for instant gratification and as you continue to grow up, you’ll expect everything given to you instantly. Even if in the end you complete the game, your step-dad wouldn’t care. He would only want you to spend more money on DLC.

Jimmy understood the nature of games very well and that’s why he loved playing his old games. They were far more challenging and when he completed them he felt like that meant something. Completing “Mario the Lost Levels” without dying and on speed was the greatest challenge he had ever faced. He believed he was ready. Whether he really was or not – only time would tell. The important thing was that he believed in himself.

The Realisation

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 07:32:35 +0100

Connor woke up with an uneasy feeling. It was a clear day, but there was something he didn’t like in the air. There was something making him want to stay in bed all day and not go anywhere. It was a Saturday, so he could generally afford it. Except for cleaning his apartment he didn’t have any appointments. He was feeling depressed for some reason but he wasn’t sure why. Only later would he realise that the reason was a sudden realisation he had come to – that his life was completely empty and meaningless.

He got up and went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth and then took a shower in the hopes that the uneasy feeling would be washed away. It wasn’t. He went in the kitchen and made some coffee. As usual, he drank it with a lot of cream and sugar. He was feeling hungry but he had no appetite so he didn’t eat anything. He was wondering how long he wouldn’t be able to rest and what part of his day he would lose. He hated the fact that he had only two days of some freedom and he couldn’t enjoy them... And then it hit him. That was the reason for his anxiety. He started thinking about and slowly realised how empty his, our existence actually was. We spend our whole lives in pursuit of illusions and lie to ourselves on a daily basis just to somehow make ourselves feel better. We were slaves. We were about as free as a cow is. We like thinking we’re independent and that we have liberty but the truth was were deceiving ourselves – there was no liberty and there were very few choices.

He thought more about it and the more he thought, the more miserable he became. What were his actual choices in life – he could choose what to do in his spare time – clean, read or watch a film but he couldn’t just choose go bungee-jumping in Japan, for example – he had to go to work on Monday. At work he had to do whatever the boss told him to and after work he was too tired to do anything else. It was perfect – almost everybody was enslaved and there was very little, if at all, that anybody could do about it.

Connor took a look around. That was his life – he had spent years of his life trying to build a somewhat nice habitat. There wasn’t anything he wanted right now more than to take those years back, to enjoy life more. How could he? How can you enjoy something when there are so many limitations? He realised that finding that out was the way to enlightenment, happiness and maybe even wisdom.

Maxwell’s Law

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 15:03:32 +0100

Julian Maxwell postulated his law about four years ago, twelve months after he began working for the cleaning company. His law stated that the quantity of work was proportional to what day of the week it was. So, for example, Mondays were pretty much free and Fridays were a waking nightmare. Nobody has managed to disprove Maxwell’s law yet.

When he postulated his law, Julian was the oldest cleaner in a small cleaning company in West Yorkshire. The business grew in the years to come, however, and soon the company opened an office in London. As Mr Blackwell’s most trusted employee, he was promoted to manager in the new office in the Capital. It wasn’t easy job. Most people thought that being a boss was easy (himself included) but when he actually became one, he realised all the responsibility managers, CEOs and all the other blokes with leading roles carry around all the time. If something went wrong, it would be his responsibility. That’s why we worked harder than he subordinates. He wanted to set an example, to show them he wasn’t just taking his big pay check without working hard for it. ‘The pay and the work done have to be proportional’ he always said. He wanted to motivate the employees. He was frequently giving them bonuses for a job well done. He would ask customers if they were satisfied with the services provided. Julian was doing everything in his power to keep things running smoothly.

His efforts were rewarded. The cleaners respected him and listened to him. They gave their best efforts and in return, their boss was showing his appreciation. It wasn’t always money they expected. Sometimes hearing the words ‘Excellent job!’ were enough. With the collective hard work, the company grew even more. The more the company grew, the more money everybody would make and the more diligence they would apply into their work.

It wasn’t all good, of course. The company went through some ups and downs, but they managed to endure through cooperation and mutual understanding. The company flourished and everybody’s lives were going pretty good.

But as frequently turns out, things don’t work out well for too long. About two years after he became the boss of the new office in London, Julian Maxwell, the person in charge respected by everybody, was diagnosed with lung cancer. He had been coughing for about six months until he finally went to the doctor. It was ironic, really, because he didn’t smoke and neither did his friends. Slowly but steadily Julian’s life was leaving his body. With every passing day he was becoming crankier and more distant. It was understandable given his condition. A year after the diagnosis, Mr Maxwell passed away.

The Aftermath

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 14:32:48 +0100

The world ended. No, it didn’t end in 2012 when the Mayans had allegedly foretold it would. When December 21^st of that year came, there was panic, yes. Many people sold everything they had (or rather donated it) and gathered on various places in wait of the Apocalypse. But the Apocalypse never came. They were ruined; they didn’t have anywhere to go. Many new homeless shelters were opened. We dodged another bullet, just like the ones before. A few years later they said that the calculations were wrong – that it was going to end on December 12^th 2021. When the date came, it was the same story all over again – there was no Apocalypse; just a bit of chaos on the streets, people running scared and thousands of ruined fools looking for a place to live. New wave of homeless shelters, the economy took another hit, but we survived. In the years to come we would prosper. We would live better and better, absolutely blind to what was happening around us. Nature was changing. We killing her, little by little – river by river, forest by forest. At one point we tried repairing the damage, but it was too late – the deed was done.

The world ended. It wasn’t an Apocalypse – it didn’t happen in one day. There was no Final Rupture – good people didn’t go to Heaven. We all stayed here – the good, the bad, the ugly. A solar flayer didn’t wipe out our technology. A super-volcano didn’t erupt to change the climate and hide the sun. The Earth didn’t open up to devour us. Nothing of the sort. The world didn’t end in one day. It was ending for decades. But nobody saw it. We were polluting more and more and more. We were cutting the trees to make profit. We extracted natural oils. Just for profit, and the profit of a few, at that. We could’ve found better energy source, could’ve used cleaner technologies. But that would mean less profit and they didn’t want that. No! They liked feeling in control, feeling in power. All the world did their biding (still does, even now). It escalated slowly – like the drops of water falling on a stone – it would take many years, but they would erode it. Slowly but steadily we killed nature. We were arrogant. They were arrogant. And we simply let them. Billions of people left a few (I’m not sure how many) to rule them, to take decisions for them and to guide them to self-annihilation. But I think it was the people’s fault – their blindness and ignorance were all that made it possible. If they had been just a little more involved in who was controlling their lives and why. But they weren’t. Man’s ignorance was his greatest downfall…

What’s Up with That?

Tue, 23 Oct 2012 10:05:39 +0100

There was one thing I never managed to understand – what’s with people’s obsessions with so called ‘stars’? Why are they supposed to be some sort of an elite and why does almost everybody pay this close attention to what they do or what happens in their lives. I mean, really – why do people care so much? It puzzles me more and more with every conversation I hear about it. Yesterday, I heard two colleagues arguing about something like that – out of two actors, who was better looking. One was saying the first and the other one was ardently defending the second. I don’t remember their names (they weren’t that popular), but they were from a show obviously the two girls watch (I’m calling them girls even though they are older than me because their behaviour is childish – it’s OK for 14-year-olds to have such arguments but it is inappropriate for young women in the their twenties). Anyway, they were arguing so passionately, so earnestly trying to prove their points – it was pathetic. I would understand arguing about something that matter – but who’s better looking? For people they have never even met and probably never will? For people who don’t even suspect of their existence? What’s the point? Obviously, they have never heard that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’.

I really can’t understand it and here’s why – the way I see it, those people are entertainers. They live to entertain other people. They are what the king’s fool, jester, buffoon used to be, but on a global scale. The concept has changed a bit, but is the same in the core. They don’t do something productive so that they should be admired. They are well-paid clown who wear a different sort of make-up. Why do people admire them? They are not scientists, they don’t change our lives or our understanding of the world around us. A guy who appears in a film and acts like somebody else gets paid millions while scientists struggle to understand how things work. That doesn’t seem fair. Yes, I agree that entertains have talent (well, some of them) but that doesn’t they should be admired or celebrated as if they were superior beings. In a sense, the cleaning lady in your office is more productive, and moreover – more relevant to you but goes completely unnoticed (OK, maybe not the one in the video, but you get the main idea).

Furthermore, most entertainers are broken people. One shouldn’t admire them or want to be like them – one should pity them. Or do you think it is because they lead such full and rich, happy lives that they turn to drugs. Most of them are miserable. Why can’t people understand that? One day, I want my children to grow up in a world where truly great and productive people receive admiration. Don’t get me wrong, having entertainment is good but it doesn’t need, nor deserves all the hype.